The Plus Side of Change

Recently, I have never felt so proud of myself. I have accomplished a lot recently. When it comes to saying the word “proud” of myself, I definitely don’t take that lightly.

Positives: Started work at the profession I want to build my career on. Have an apartment. Getting debts paid off. Checking of legal issues that the past year ensued.

I have never just lived for myself.  In a sense, life is all my own and I’m enjoying that. I don’t feel lonely as in needing a companion, but I do miss connecting. I miss having such a connection with someone that they understand you more than you understand yourself.

I’m missing the old me. I wasn’t always a mess. I had a grasp on life. Now that I have a different life and am learning to adapt to it, I miss who I was. I may seem confident, happy, positive, and have a good outlook on my situation.

Inside: I’m feeling disappointed.  Disappointed in who I am. What I’ve lost. Who I’ve become. Why is it when all these positives are completely overshadowing the negatives I’m feeling like I don’t deserve it. I’m feeling like I don’t want it. Responsibility? Being called an inspiration by people who hardly know me? Actually succeeding in many aspects?

What I think: I’ve always been driven to succeed beyond my own expectations. Maybe when I’m actually meeting my expectations, it’s really just a new experience. This, from my past, has made me feel like I need to reach higher rather than being content with all the positives which are occurring. Is it possible for me to accept that all I’m accomplishing currently is good enough for now.. and how long is “now”?

 

 

Next Move?

Hey! I’m wondering if anyone knows about living in Denver, Colorado. I live up in the high Rocky Mountains and am wanting to make my next move to Denver. I want to continue my education with a Masters Degree in the science of adult aging and wellness so I think Denver would be a good move for a larger community and more opportunities. 

I’m still young, I have time; I want to enjoy and experience life before I get into a career/family which will be living my life not just for me but for other people… but that being said, I want to make changes in my life. I want to get a career. I want that driven feeling I used to have so much of come back. I have the passion, now I just have to make the complete effort. 

So…. anyone know of apartments to rent from in Denver? (I am also VERY open to options in other states).

LET IT SNOW!

LET IT SNOW!

Now, this is a forecast I can love! ❤

Today I am starting my new job working up on Snowmass Mountain. I am excited for a new beginning after four years seasonally at my last job. Hopefully once training is over I get to ski some powder! 

Starting off the morning healthy with an egg, cup of tea, and a berry smoothie. I was going to go for a run before orientation but I decided it’s better I’m not late my first day. Also, I should have time after orientation to either skin up the mountain or go for a short run. Last night before bed I did http://vimeo.com/77318628. I couldn’t believe how fast four minutes went by! I also did some side planks and more variety of crunches, four minutes didn’t seem like enough of a workout. 

Hope everyone has a cozy, snowy, and adventurous day!